“But the never seems to be enough to time ….To do the things you want to do, once you find them.” – Jim Croce
Time. I’ve never really thought much about it….I just lived my life. This sounds so cliche’ but there are so many things I wants to do, to see, to hear…..and now I’m almost 50 and am realizing……I’ve spent my life living and breathing my job. Have I really lived? Does it really matter if I don’t ever see or do or hear most of the things I always wanted to? Have. I. Really. Lived?
Yes, it’s true what people tell you when you are young. “As you get older, time will fly.” “You will look back and wonder where it went.” As I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to ponder such things. I haven’t lived the life I always wanted and dreamed. From a very early age, all I remember wanting to be was a mother. I wanted to get married and have lots of babies/children. I never really thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up…..I know. A mother and wife. Those are the two things I grew to realize I’d never have. But after living alone all of these years, something else has proven to be true. “The grass is always greener….” There are good and bad things about both single hood and marriage. It’s all in how you look at it. And…as far as children go….I’m a teacher who loves my job and my children. I have lots of kids. And would do anything for them. And they know it. I may not have to put them through college (I would try my darnedest if one of them needed my help with it) but I love them like my own flesh.
So-do the dreams of childhood really matter? Do we get to the end of our life and think, ” Where did my life and time go to???” Yes and no. They matter to give you directions and goals. But they aren’t written in stone. They are fluid and ever-changing. As for the question of where time went, it was lived. By you. By me. By us all. So things didn’t turn out like we had dreamed. They still turned out.
And the question-have I really lived???? Yes, I have. My life’s not perfect-far from it. I’m not perfect, far from it. But-I have lived, laughed, loved, and learned through it all. No, Jim, there never seems to be enough time. All we can do is manage the time we have to the best of our ability. Do the things you want when you can, IF you can. If not, it’s ok.
Start a bucked list if you haven’t already. Give yourself some goals to shoot for. I never really thought about having one. But did subconsciously. Several things have been checked off. I always wanted to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Always wanted to go to NYC…..wanted to see Les Miz on Broadway. Those have been done. I never really thought I’d ever make it to those things. Now I’ve been to NYC twice, planning a third trip and seen both plays ON BROADWAY. And bawled my eyes out through them.
Life is what we do while we are living. Only we can make them meaningful or not.
Make your life count. Make your time count.